Want My Paddle

I was at my sweet (beach side) home when I had my wish for travelling in a boat. The next moment spotted out a boat with a paddle at a distance. I trailed to water cautiously everything (boat and myself) and finally hit the water to ignite my highness. I initially rowed gently since I hadn’t had a pinch of knowledge concerning waterways transportation. It was ecstatic travelling in a boat solely. I moved further and further towards the sea boundary which was a misinterpreted perception of my sensory experience. I controlled my pupil 360 degree where I could sight nothing but blue carpet. I jumped into the admiration. I had to be brought back to the reality because of a broken double sided paddle to single sided state. Fear started to creep through my spinal and I decided to travel back. Unfortunately I had no map or a compass and hence I didn’t know where to go. I was rounding with that single sided paddle for a restricted diameter. Tears peeped out of fear when I misplaced the paddle to fall into the sea. Whilst I was almost near the rim of dying I experienced a shake. Suffocation to breathe, eyes floating in tears, I noticed a paddle which was at its verge of diving into the sea. I grabbed it to pass out of the state of hugger-mugger. I rowed, rowed at all direction till I could spot a land. Fortunately I captured my house whilst travelling in a direction experiencing my pulse rate becoming normal. I kick started thanking god for the paddle and for my recovery. I calmly rowed it to the sand to switch off the boat’s engine and placed the paddle near the boat. I moved to my room and cogitated about the incident. I experienced a highness inside me simply because of the paddle that came from nowhere. I cognized I could be at sky-high with the paddle I got by moving anywhere I need. I ruminated about the paddle’s entry into my life and walked to the boat again. I hadn’t found the paddle there. I ran everywhere in search of it with random moving eyeball. Finally I sat on the beach sand with frowned face. I want that “My Paddle”. My home isn’t my destiny.     

I Abolished

What an independence we have! Sorry, it is a personal feeling.

What an independence I have!

It is really a pure moment when I make a conversation (with me) which is as pure as the very first milk from a cow,

I can scold (me),

   I can appreciate (me),

 I can share the secret of secrets,

I can cry,

I can do anything that I want to do (with me) despite its consequences.

I am the only partner and the best partner (to me).

I can just cry, cry and cry till I get myself relaxed.

I can laugh, laugh and laugh to make my stomach pain.

I can counsel, counsel and counsel (until I change).

Whatever comes, whoever comes, I am the best (to me).

I am loving,

I am caring,

I can hide my tears and smile,

I am (my) brother,

 I am (my) sister,

I am the ‘everything’ (to me),

But the words turns out to be more meaningful,

IF and ONLY IF

The ‘I’ becomes ‘You’

Read the ‘I’s’ with ‘You’s’ with grammatical modifications & without changing the words in the brackets.

Present the Past of Future

I was driving the car. Beside me was my wife and behind me were my children. My wife, as she had many plans for the future, was discussing those with me which slightly irritated me. My children, they were into some other world, poking each other, pointing out fingers towards the tallest building of Tamilnadu, Akshaya homes multi storied apartment that had 35 floors. I saw those kids enjoying through the rear view mirror and grinned. We all were going to relax or to have some fun time at Besant Nagar beach. To state it more clearly I was getting my family there so that they would have some fun time. I was disturbed by some thoughts that were whirling inside my mind. I parked my car and crossed the road with everyone holding my kids each in one hand. They had nothing but only one plan i.e. to enjoy which is a key that kicks out the problem. Once I stepped into the muddy surface, I released and let them free. I instructed to my wife to take care of those kids and gave my wallet to her.

“Why?” asked my wife.

‘Nothing I just have to attend an on-site call and would be getting it soon’ I said ‘so only’.

‘Oh?!! Please lay it on the line’ she said while raising her eyebrow.

‘Really, just believe me’ I said and vacated the place.

I went somewhere out of the line of her vision to the road side and searched for a place to sit. Since it was a Sunday, I could find no place and then I found my car to be the best place and walked to it thinking about something. As I said before I was disturbed by something. I felt as if my life was incomplete despite having a good job, a good family with two good kids.

‘Chitra, inga va’ suddenly a voice came out and a 3 year old baby dashed me.

I saw down and the baby was laughing at me. I gave my finger to her and directed to her mother.

‘Sorry sir’ apologized her mom when I gave her a pleasant smile. Her voice faded out as I walked towards my car.

I opened my car door and switched on the AC and the radio. But I switched it (radio) off later as it was quite pesky playing only advertisement and no songs. I pushed my seat to an inclined position and relaxed myself placing my head over folded fingers.

Again the voice flashed in my mind ‘Chitra, inga va’ which the baby’s mom said. I was reminded of my mother, whose name was Chitra and my dad Raju and my brother, grandma, grandpa. I then brought my problem to the spot light. My life had everything but not my mom, dad, grandma or grandpa. The only left out in my family was my elder brother who got married and he was at UK. I had many dreams but only half of it got fulfilled. My kids had no chance to see their grandparents and of course my great grandparents, as I had made it late due to some issues. These all were a part of my problem.

I started to think about my old days before marriage, before work, during my college days. I was not a good son to my mom and dad. I was not there for my mom when her feet were itching due to cracks, when she had some dislocation in her shoulder, when she called me to serve her after serving everyone etc. I was not there for my dad when he asked me to relieve his shoulder pain, when he asked me to study well, when he asked me to learn things etc.

I had cheated my parents, roaming with a girl somewhere in a share van by saying I have classes and I had cheated them,  loving a girl, hugging & kissing her saying that I am in my friend sudh’s (Sudharshan) house. But I had also made them feel good by getting third in my class during my 6^th semester. Likewise I had many pluses and minus in my life and I mostly hide my minuses and show cased only my pluses. But now it kills me like anything for being such a bad human. The freedom that they gave to me I misused it. I should have been there to them but I had not. Everything that I stated above started to roll in my mind which in turn pushed out tears from my eyes. All my stress came out in the form of tears. “Always we realize about something once it gets out of our hand which then we call it as experience”.

While thinking, my brother got into my mind and I called him through the phone. I got a slight tremble in my voice whilst talking to him but then I cleared my throat before having some nice conversation with him. Once I ended the call, again the past times started to re flow in my mind.

Karma yoga is the one I should have practiced which actually insist the duty that we need to perform. What a human need, food to eat, shelter, clothes to wear. Everything I got but I did not get satisfied and I aimed for something more than the basics. We don’t stop with one need, and we look forward for next, once the previous one gets satisfied and it is always a problem within us. Buddha says ‘surpass expectations which leads to all other problems’ and it is true not because of it is from Buddha’s tongue but the power of his words.

Thinking about everything made the tears roll down from my closed eyes which in turn lead the way for many thoughts like my parents, ‘would they bless me, would they forgive me for all the mistakes that I did, would they, would they’ and it echoed inside my mind. I felt like being inside a dark forest without anyone and anything which made the fear to run inside me. Suddenly I was alerted by a phone ring (alarm app) and heard a voice saying ‘Adithyan, enthiri enthiri, time aiduthupar college ku’ and another voice saying ‘Ipdiyae thoongitu apparam bus driver seekrama eduthutaanu saakku sollatha’. I was totally confused by the voices but I could guess from the slang that it was my parent’s voice. I half opened my eyes I could see only the same car ambiance where I was relaxing. Again someone one pulled my blanket and that time it was my brother who was sleeping beside me. Seeing that, I was totally brought out to reality. After then I realized that I was sleeping in my house and the time was 6.15 a.m. I should get ready to my college. It was a bad dream of course.

I was pulled out from the dream by my mom, dad and thankfully by my brother. My dream that I had, was a composition of my past memories and future plans.

‘Ezhunthu palla theyi, kaioda kuli, kaapi tharaen, kudichittu kelambu’ said my mom.

I immediately got up hurried to get ready and sat at the dining table for coffee. My mom brought it hot when I asked ‘ma, viboothi?’ She placed the coffee on the table and went to pooja room and brought a small strip of it and lined it on my forehead saying ‘nee oruthan than correct uh vechindu pora. Unga appa, unga annaen yarum vechikarthilla, viboothi vecha nethila irukkura neer uh eduthurum’. The time was 7.10 a.m. and heard my dad’s voice from outside as he drops me daily to the bus stop. I moved out after drinking coffee replying ‘Hmmm… Hmmm...’ when my mom enquiring me ‘ID card eduthundiya? Purse’u? Kasu Irukka?’ and finally said ‘Jakkartha, cell phone badhdharam college la pudichida pora’.

Then I boarded the bus and surrounded my ears with music. To my surprise, when I switched on the i-pod ‘Amma endrazhaikatha’ song, the first song in all of my playlist. I became more energized and prepared myself for the day. I can give you assurance, that true love exist, only between you and your family but at other places, ‘sorry, no comments’.    

Be in Fact

Seeing the world in a more realistic way is a task of difficult. A simple change of view will make you to attain the destination called ‘reality’. A real heart has true lovers than for a man with packs and biceps. When I say the word ‘Real Heart’ I mean a heart that beats real and feels for reality. Reality is the real ability to change the world. Be what you are instead of being in a way others want you to be. If you want to see the real view of this world you should consider every atom to be equal. Reality has everything packed inside it in a genuine manner.

 We often get into a bad state of mind, we often lose our temper, we often find it difficult to solve a simple problem, we often get away from true people, and we often junk our mind with sympathy reflecting stuffs. It is an obvious fact that most of us have a behavior problem simply while crossing a girl. We mock as if like a ‘Gowthama Buddha’ at a guy who tries to impress a group of girls but the next day we jump into that scene. We are ready to advice but not to follow. This entire problem is because we act unreal. Real soul has few characteristics irrespective of gender. The first and foremost thing that can be kept on the table is argument. They hate arguing but use it when it is in need. Easily finds out genuineness among all. They take up responsibility, complete and satisfy people very soon. They care very rare for them. As a whole they stand out among everyone. Initially reality will be disliked but at the ends it triumphs. But once you reach the state of real you will stand high so that the whole world will admire you and will start kindling your history. For example Swami Vivekananda, Ramana Maharishi, Ramakrishna Paramahamsar, Gowthama Buddha, Mother Teresa, are all from reality, even ‘‘Mouna Ragam’ “Karthick”’. They did not want this world to look at them but their principles made this world turn to them. A man who has no expectation is the happiest soul always. When you get something more than you expect you go to a high ground and of course it is a fact. Happiness always makes a man contented but a peaceful mind has no saturation point. To make your mind peace is more important than making it happy. As time runs, we are losing our real love, real care, and real communication too. We started to create duplicate copy for everything which will stay no longer with us. A 60 year old lady offers her seat to an 80 year old lady while travelling in a bus. But being just 20 we lie low and let it lie. The real care lies at 60 but not with 20. We start to judge people and so we don’t have time to love them. Stop analyzing so that you will have more time to live your life. We have more time to change but we don’t want a change. Little drops make a mighty ocean likewise a little periodic change will make you to be under controlled of yourself which is wow thing. None is Mr. Perfect in this world. But a man who tries to be (Mr. Perfect) will be one step ahead from a mediocre mind. Every moment gives you opportunity to learn. Search for opportunity even in a negative scenario. Live your life in a livelier way. That is the real education. I would like share few lines of Kannadhasan,

Ullam Enbathu Aamai – Athil

Unmai Enbathu Oomai.

Sollil Varuvathu Paathi – Nenjil

Thoongi Kidappathu Neethi.

A trip to 'T'

I and Ragasiya had no talks between us for a long time. I felt like I was very much comfortable without her. But something inside me disturbed me a lot. ‘What will I do without her?’ I thought. I got a call from my dad. ‘Aadhi get ready for a marriage reception,’ my dad ordered which made me to get on my nerves. ‘But why?’ I raised my voice which went of no use. Finally I was made to go to the reception of that marriage.

It is actually a marriage of a clean upper class family. So I had to make my outfit great. I had worn white full sleeve rounded neck T-shirt with sleeves folded to my elbow and with a blue faded jean bottom. I had worn a cobbler shoe worth Rs. 2000 bucks which gave me a perfect rich look. The marriage is actually at a place which is 8 kilometers from my house. Since I had no bike I grabbed some coins and notes, boarded a bus that takes me to the place of marriage. ‘I ain’t a rich man, but I project myself in a way that makes others believe,’ I grinned and said ‘Haiyo Haiyo’ a famous dialogue for tamilians which expresses pities.

‘Guduvancherry, erangu erangu!’ shouted the conductor. I then got down from the bus and searched for my dad.

‘Aadhi here,’ called my dad. My pupil moved in a random way and I turned and said ‘Huh!’ as I had saw my dad coming with grin. It made me feel better as he irritated me through phone.

‘Why so late?’ dad asked.

‘No! I was actually in one of my friend’s house when you called me,’ I said ‘studying for the next exam’.

‘Oh?  Sorry! But you could have explained your situation through phone,’ apologized my dad. I gazed at him as he had cut the call when I tried to explain my situation.

‘Okay Okay! Come on. A very costly hall in this area. Big contacts had arrived to this hall. They sit inside,’ said my dad amazingly.

‘Oh? But the guy is not that good in appearance,’ I said by seeing a poster hung outside the hall.

‘Yeah! Not that much,’ said my dad ‘but the girl is superb.’

I turned my face and mocked by closing my mouth as she too not that good.

‘What?’ my dad enquired. ‘Yeah! Dad’ I said ‘She looks great.’

‘That is what I told’ said my dad and moved fast inside the hall.

I entered the hall and looked hither and thither if any face stares at me. But everyone was busy doing something with their work. I searched for a chair and settled by hands folded. I could sense some people gazing at me seeing my appearance.

My dad ‘Hey! Singing troop is doing a great job, right?’

‘Yeah! Dad. So what?’ I asked.

‘Let me try to sing one song,’ said my dad ‘what? Say?’

‘Your wish dad,’ I said ‘Asinga padaama iruntha Seri,’ I shrugged my shoulders.

Then he rushed and had some conversation with the head of that troop. After sometime he raised his right thumb and expressed his confirmation. He was actually made to wait for a long time.

But I was made to feel bored. I just gazed at the couples for a long time. Suddenly I had entered into a dream. ‘What will I do without her?’ I imagined ‘If someone stands near me instead of Ragasiya.’

‘If she sits as one of the visitor to my marriage and laughs at me, what will I do?’ I frightened.

‘If she comes and hugs me in front of everyone when I marry some other girl, what will I do?’ I frightened.

‘Aadhi,’ tapped my dad at my back which made me to get me out of the bad dream.

‘Next is my chance,’ said my dad excitingly. I felt happy and had tears in my eyes as he is such a good singer who went unrecognizable.

‘Super dad! Come on,’ I cheered him up. It took fifteen minutes for dad to start his song. In between I was again made to enter into that bad dream.

When I went getting on for like crying, ‘Sundari Kannal oru sethi…’ I heard. I had turned and watched. It is my dad who sings. Since he got aged I felt that it would be tough for him to sing high pitches but he made it work perfect. Every eye in that hall turned to my dad. Of course I too had fixed a joyous gaze at him. He got well settled in his song and sang it. ‘How is it?’ he grinned and enquired through his eyebrows raised whilst in the middle of the song.

‘Hmm!’ I said raising my thumbs up above the head. Then he ended the song by praising the couples.

‘Clak clak clak clak’ I started clapping and everyone joined me.

He got down from the stage and walked past everyone like superstar Rajnikanth and came sat near me. Everyone gave him a hand shake and appreciated him for his singing.

He was very much happy ‘Then can we go?’ asked my dad.

‘Okay dad but you didn’t gift the couples yet,’ I said ‘then how can us?’

‘I did it first Aadhi’ said my dad with a grin.

‘Oh? Then fine!’ said me ‘proceed’. I then had different varieties of food after which we started to vacate the place.

‘Dad?’ I called ‘Stop.’

‘What?’ my dad enquired.

‘I thought you would get crashed in high pitches’ I said ‘but you managed.’

‘Even I wonder how I managed that pitch’ said my dad ‘thank god!’

‘Today everything went fine dad’ I said.

‘Is that so?’ said my dad ‘then fine.’

My mobile vibrated but I ignored as I was conversing with my dad. The conversation went very much interesting. Again the mobile vibrated which got me on my nerves. ‘Who the hell is that person?’ I whispered and tried to take my mobile from my pocket. But as I was riding my dad’s bike that came directly from office I could not able to take it from my pocket. ‘Idiot! Don’t do other works while driving,’ shouted my dad. ‘Okay Okay dad’ I said ‘I ain’t.’

Then I reached my house in another ten minutes. I entered my house humming ‘Sundari Kannal oru sethi…’

‘Un purushan kalakittaru,’ I shouted excitingly to my mom.

‘What happened?’ enquired my mom.

‘Dad sung Sundari song today perfectly’ I said ‘very nice.’

‘Is that so?’ asked my mom seeing my dad.

‘Yeah! They requested me to sing a song’ said my dad ‘so I did.’ I turned to my dad and laughed at him seeing from top to bottom. My dad had winked one of his eyes seeing me to fake my mom out.

Again my mobile vibrated. I was then made to remember of the mobile. I pulled it out of my small pocket. I opened the message.

‘You there?’ was the message I got. It was from Ragasiya that too after a long time.

‘What’s up?’ went from me.

‘Can you call me?’ from Ragasiya.

‘Yeah Sure!’ from me.

I then called her. Ring went for a long time. At last she picked up the phone. ‘Hello,’ said Ragasiya.

‘You had said me to call you,’ I said ‘What is the matter?’

‘Yeah! I am going to T-Nagar tomorrow,’ she said ‘so…’

‘So… what?’ I enquired ‘Huh?’

‘So can you accompany me?’ asked Ragasiya.

Since I had to maintain my dignity I held myself back in this conversation.

‘No I actually,’ I said ‘Actually have a work.’

‘So will it be difficult for you to come?’ asked Ragasiya.

‘No actually,’ I hesitated.

‘Hello I am talking to you,’ her voice reached to a new decibel.

‘Yeah I will come,’ I said out of frustration.

‘Cool!’ she said and sighed.

‘But why?’ I enquired ‘purpose?’

‘I got to buy gifts to my sister’s birthday,’ she said ‘and tomorrow after three ok for you?’

‘Yeah, I am okay with it’ I said.

‘Cool! Love you. Bye! Take care,’ she rushed ‘mom calling.’

I had cut the call and stared at the wall knowing nothing of what to do next.

Then I went to inform my mom.

‘Mom, I go out tomorrow for an important work’ I said.

‘Even I too go,’ she said ‘after three.’

‘What? Where?’ I enquired when my hands started to shiver out.

‘I think T-Nagar,’ she said ‘why Aadhi?’

‘Mom, why do you go there?’ I enquired my mom trying her to make her plan cancel.

‘I need to buy some dresses for your uncle’s girl’ she said.

‘For that why do you want to go T-Nagar?’ I said ‘can buy it in Tambaram, right?’

‘That is what I too told, but your dad is not ready for that idea,’ said my mom.

‘He says it will be cheaper there in T-Nagar,’ said my mom.

‘Just 10 to 15 rupees mom’ I justified ‘I mean the difference.’

‘Okay I will talk your dad’ said my mom.

‘Do it soon mom’ I said ‘or else he won’t change his mind.’

Then mom and dad conversed through phone and decided not to go to T-Nagar.

‘Oooh!’ I sighed.

‘Okay what important work you going to do tomorrow?’ enquired mom.

‘I go to T-Nagar to buy gifts to my friend’s sister mom’ I said.

‘Who is that friend?’ enquired my mom raising her eyebrow.

‘Sabari mom,’ I said ‘Our Sabari.’

‘Oh? Ok,’ said my mom and eyebrow lowered.

Then I escaped out of the kitchen and was thinking of how to go tomorrow. I had my supper and was thinking about tomorrow and slept whilst thinking. I got up at 6 am. I started doing my works very fast.

I got very much excited as it was my first outing with her since we started to love each other. I forgot to mention, ‘don’t forget that according to her I am her friend not lover.’ Clock struck 10!  Mom and dad went to Tambaram to buy dresses. Minutes rushed out to 2 pm. It’s time to get ready. I rushed to the bathroom, had my bath and selected my outfit.

I had worn a collar T-shirt maroon –ash striped and a blue jean bottom. I had worn a canvas shoe which projected me as a rich person. I boarded the train. It took half an hour for me to reach the place. The train entered into Mambalam railway station. I moved to foot board to get down as quick as possible. I got down. I searched for her face. After a minute of time I spotted her face.

She was sitting busily with her mobile. I went to her back.

‘Hello?’ I said by patting her shoulders.

‘Hi!’ she said ‘Can we go?’

‘Yeah come on,’ I said.

As I meet her after a long time, I started to notice her small movement too which I always do. But on that day I did more. She hooked her handbag to her shoulder and moved fast forward. I moved with her to her fast and had some conversation in that crowded staircase of that railway station. I climbed up fast but she got struck in that crowd.

‘Come fast,’ I said when I was waiting for her at the top.

Then she came up. I let her to go in front of me so that she can walk past the crowd easily. We climbed down and at last reached the bazaar.

‘Sobbha!’ we both said unexpectedly which made us broke out to laugh.

‘Thank god! A pleasant start,’ I said ‘ok proceed.’

‘See, I have no idea,’ she said ‘you going to buy her a gift.’

‘Sure! What to buy?’ I asked.

‘Churidhar,’ she suggested.

‘What? You girls have more knowledge than us,’ I said.

‘No da Aadhi,’ she said ‘we don’t.’

‘Stop fibbing!’ I raised my voice.

‘Okay Okay cool!’ she said ‘you select the color my dear.’

I was talking to myself for some time. Yesterday in phone she said that she ‘loves me’ and today she says ‘my dear.’ Tomorrow will I be hearing ‘Can I marry you?’

Suddenly I heard a loud voice ‘Mister please move’ said a passerby.

Another voice ‘Mister please move’ from the other side. Without seeing the face I had came to apologize. But this time it is Ragasiya.

‘Whoops!’ I said and sighed.

‘What? Can’t you see a girl coming with you believing that you’d buy her a gift?’ she said and laughed.

‘Yeah! What gift you said?’ I enquired her again.

‘Ada Raama! Churidhar,’ she said.

‘Yeah ok done!’I said and moved faster in that crowded streets.

We both entered into a shop but we couldn’t able to make it as the money she had doesn’t match with the stuffs in that shop. So we tried three to four shops and the money got matched in one of the shops.

We enquired about the Churidhar spot. We were directed to 6^th floor. I entered into the floor and went straight somewhere. But she stopped long back and was watching me with a very pleasant smile.

I turned ‘Come on!’ I said.

‘No no. You search there;’ she said ‘let me do it here.’

‘Okays,’ I said and proceeded further. Everyone stared at me like thief. I was clueless. I then proceeded further. Then I started to see posters of girls in bikini. Immediately it struck me that I had entered into a wrong section. I came back running to her. She was laughing with her hands in her mouth.

‘Idiot, can’t you tell that I am into a wrong section’ I shouted.

‘Okay cool! Athan pathuttiyae poster uh,’ she said and laughed.

‘Chi chi! I am a good boy,’ I laughed by making a new style with my hair in the nearby mirror in that shop.

She turned my face through my chin and said ‘I know who you are. Okay?’

‘Seri vidu,’ I said and moved to the Churidhar section.

I selected good looking designs and showed her but her face frowned. At the beginning I stood for her reactions. And then after sometime I took a new design and spotted it to her. Again she frowned which got me on my nerves and I whispered ‘you idiot, I showed you all good designs out here and nothing left here.’

‘Actually my sister likes pink color very much da,’ she whispered ‘sorry da I forgot to mention it.’

‘Oh! You could have told me before my dear,’ I said and sighed. I took a pink colored chudi with designs in black that was hung in one corner of that shop.

‘Raga…?’ I called ‘Is this ok?’

She gave me a negative nod. I just felt myself as a noddy. She came to me and said ‘please don’t get angry I forgot to mention another thing’

‘What,’ I asked.

‘My mom will scold me if she sees black colored spot in dresses’ she said ‘we won’t wear black dresses.’

I just gazed at her from top to bottom and laughed by holding my ends of the temple with my thumb.

‘Sorry da! Extremely sorry for not mentioning it,’ she apologized.

‘Are you sure? You people won’t wear black colored dress,’ I enquired.

‘Yeah Aadhi I swear,’ she promised by holding her throat.

‘Then what is this,’ I asked when I pinched a part of her chudi and released. She bit her tongue expressing again an apology as she had worn a black and white mixed outfit.

‘Sorry sorry sorry extremely sorry,’ she apologized.

‘Okays cool!’ I said when I was searching for another pink colored dress. I then spotted out a fully pink colored dress with embroidery works along the neck portion.

‘Is this okay?’ I enquired her while I was searching for one more pink.

‘Okay…,’ she dragged.

‘What Raga?’ I asked ‘Why you drag?’

‘No no! Okay for me,’ she rushed ‘but price?’

‘No worries! That also suits us,’ I said with a grin ‘Rs.850.’

‘Oye, I have only 800,’ she said when she was searching her handbag.

‘Thank god, I have another fifty,’ she said.

‘Okay come on, let us bill it,’ I said and we rushed to the counter. We paid then and I ran immediately to a lift nearby. But it was overloaded and so I used the steps to climb down. We came out of the shop at last and moved towards the railway station.

‘Okay madam move forward,’ I requested and I followed her back. Whilst I was following her I had made to think about the past ‘Hmm! The girl whom I had loved once is now a friend to me’ I mumbled ‘god! You wrote my fate in a very different way.’ ‘But what to do, even I do have mistake on my side for the break up’ I continued mumbling ‘can’t you change it my dear god.’ I then had chuckled thinking about everything and mumbling. She noticed me chuckling and enquired ‘Why did you chuckle? I know it is something related to me, say it, open it out.’ ‘Nothing Raga,’ I said when I was trying to divert her from this matter. ‘No I need the reason,’ she stood stubborn. ‘Okay, I was laughing for your black and white argument,’ I said ‘nothing else.’ ‘Pinky Promise?’ she enquired. ‘Pinky promise,’ I said by showing my finger.

‘Okay please maintain distance,’ I requested her. 
‘Why?’ she asked with innocence in her voice.
 ‘Actually if people anyone who knows me sees us together, that’s all,’ I said ‘my chapter will be closed.’ ’Is that so?’ she enquired and immediately grabbed my hand and held me in her arms. 
‘Hey loose vidu di!’  I shouted out of frustration.
 ‘Okay I released you bayanthangoli’ she said and laughed which made me to laugh.

‘Okay come on fast,’ I said ‘we got to catch the train.’ We then had rushed and settled in a place relaxing and waiting for the train.

She showed her mobile and was scolding about a boy who had tortured her by scolding her badly and proposing her. She showed the messages that he had sent to her. I remained silent. But her face frowned. Then I started to console her by giving her some ideas. Whilst talking a train arrived at the station, I saw her for her permission to board the train ‘Let us catch the next train Aadhi,’ she said. So I again started to talk. 
Whilst talking she let go 2 trains. ‘This is too much Raga;’ I raised my voice ‘let us catch the next train.’ ‘Let us catch the second (train) from now,’ she said.
 ‘Hey already we had missed 3,’ I whispered. ‘I am going to catch the next train,’ I said and vacated the seat and went away from her. I then got a message from her ‘I thought I could spend some time with you. It’s okay bye take care, thanks for coming.’ I just ignored her message and I went near the train to board. 
Suddenly I was pulled. When I turned and saw, I met one of my relatives there in that station. She started chatting with me and I too joined as I had no choice. 
‘Where did you come?’ she enquired.
 ‘I just came here to buy gifts for my friend,’ I said ‘you?’ 
‘I came here for a work and I am returning to my house now,’ she said and grinned. She then introduced me to her friend and she moved away bidding me an adieu when the train too moved away from station. I had no choice and went to the place where she was sitting. She then saw me and chortled by closing her mouth.
 ‘I know about you my dear,’ she said ‘you won’t go.’ 
‘shut up, I would have boarded the train but was held up by one of my relatives,’ I said in anger.
 ‘Okay cool! You missed the train anyways, come with me, I will drop you,’ she said and giggled. I just stared at her and turned my face.

I had sensed some vibrations and looked up. The train arrived and we were getting ready to board. I boarded a general compartment but she made it with ladies. I had texted her then ‘For what did you board the ladies?’
 ‘I am a girl I can’t say everything to you, please try to understand,’ she said. I then did not text her even a word. I moved to the foot board and fixed my headset to hear songs. The train then entered into the Tambaram railway station and I got down and waited for her to come. We then had some dispute between us.

‘What do I need to understand?’ I enquired ‘Huh?’

‘Don’t start it again Aadhi,’ she said and turned her face.

‘Then for what did you messaged me like that,’ I said and shown her the message saying ‘I thought I could spend some time with you. It’s okay. Bye. Take care, thanks for coming.’

‘Answer me?’ I raised my voice.

‘Don’t shout. Okay, sorry for sending you that message,’ she excused and ended the conversation.

I then did not utter a word and was coming with her silently. We both boarded a share van and reached Perungulathur. We both did not even utter a word. We got down from the share van and we need to cross a big busy road carefully. Already she got call from her house thrice. So she was so tensed and I held her hand and crossed the road and to our surprise it started to drizzle slightly. We ran. She accompanied her cousin sister who returns home from work by that time and I came back home by walk. I came home and relaxed.

I got a text from her ‘Reached home safely. No problem here. Guess the same there.’

‘Yes! No problem. I reached home too.’

‘I am so tired now but very happy,’ she said.

‘Is that so?’ I said ‘fine fine.’

‘I loved you when you held my hand whilst crossing the road,’ she said.

‘Just a man to man help,’ I said.

‘Only you can hold my hand,’ she said.

‘Okay sure for the next time,’ I said.

‘Good night, chweet dreams, take care bayanthangoli,’ she sent.

‘Gn, sd, tc,’ I sent. I then had some food and went to bed thinking about her if she loves me still or not. But I had a good day. I thanked god for the day he offered me and slept.

ARUL INSTITUTE

 

I was somewhere living in this world. I had a very few knowledge about the place Tambaram and its surroundings as I belonged to Chengalpet. I was blasted off from St. Joseph Higher Secondary school and made to land up at Sri Sankara Vidyalaya @ Tambaram. I stepped into the new school to meet new faces. But fortunately I was made to step into a safest place before joining the school. I was made to think about my admission in this institution before entering the school. I hated it on the first day. I was clueless. I was made to feel like I had no options. Why am I here? What is the purpose? These were all the queries that were whirling in my mind on the first day. But it entirely got vanished as soon as the next week started. I felt the new atmosphere to be very okay with me. What is the name of the institution? Where is it? It is Arul Institute! A heavenly bode!

        Then I realized that the opportunity I got is like a heavenly sent opportunity. For me the admission in Arul institute is a stroke of luck. It (Institute) will be always heaving. It is a place where we students move the heaven and earth to do our study. But the true fact is, more than we do; two souls move the heaven and earth to teach us. It is none other than our two heroes, Mr. Arul and Mr. Thyagu. We call them as Arul sir and Thyagu Sir. They are the lights of many students life.

        As far as my concern, they are the only two teachers who had me in the seventh heaven all the time while teaching the chapters. Of course they had others too. Even the problems that are up in the air in your mind would be resolved by them. And so they are in the air! They will make everyone feel up to see the light easily as they make use of their humorous talks which would make everyone tread on air even though he/she is out of humor. They throw light on students that aren’t being done in schools. They made everyone turn over a new leaf after joining up their Institution. Students being educated in Arul Institute are brought to light often. It would appear like a rough ride for students who give the duties a miss that were given and it would also be like a light at the end of the tunnel. But there are many numbers of students who rode high by not missing the trick of Arul Institute. It is a hap joining Arul institute for everyone. I always admired myself as I had never gone out like light while the class hours in Arul institute. Though we travelled light to the classes we acquired more knowledge. Their teaching won’t be getting a move. Both of the sirs have very kind way of approach. They don’t have it in for students who are bad news to them. They got it in one to teach any difficult concepts.

Innocent man and a man to whom we students have a great respect for is Arul sir. He handles two subjects alternatively. He is a two brain-one head man. He stands for his patience. He stands for his teaching. He stands for his kind heart. He stands for everything. He stands for his ‘vengayam’. He is a role model. He is a one to be inspired for sure. If I need to explain about our second hero Thyagu Sir, he is the only teacher who teaches Mathematics with his bare hands. He is a fun bomb of the institute. He especially stands for his ‘double meaning jokes’. He blows in to the class but never blew classes off. Both of the sirs have the quality of never blowing classes off. They blew a fuse very often when they see students who are bad news. They put in more efforts and make a day of study and by putting up with the some of the student’s unpleasant behavior they make us see the light at a stroke the concepts that we deal about.

They not only put in more efforts in teaching but they had put in extraordinary efforts in coming up in their life. Stories related to their life history would even make a below average student to ride high in his education. They are like godhead. There is nothing wrong in showing reverence and adoration for them. Absolutely they are genius. They have each and every quality of a teacher. They know how to teach, how to behave, how to take over the time given to them and altogether how to change the life of a student. Students please do join Arul institute and enjoy your schooling.

We all respect you! We take a bow! We live your days!

Jai Hind! J

Conceive B-4 You Deed!

A room filled with all types of medicated instruments. A white bedspread covered the bed at that room. A strange smell swirled everywhere within that room which appeared like a smell of death to a new-comer. The very light beep sound put the fear of god in us. People with white coat roamed hither and thither giving no information about what was going on inside and about the level of status. During visitor’s hour, people panicked and breezed in with tears on their eyes. Seeing the faces around everywhere in that room, heart beats went even faster than it was before, some with a very less chance of hope and other with fifty-fifty chance and others with a very less mental power. When people get to see some faces, discomfort in breathing gets into action and they frighten them off.

In such a frightful condition, a lady slumbered very silently combating against the death for herself and for little baby inside her. She knew nothing about what is coming about around. People prayed outside for good results. The lady inside bode in a calm condition.

Clocks rushed out! It is 11 at night. Eyes opened! Consciousness made to sense things around and so the fear ran down the spinal cord! Yelling’s started to ascend! People with white coat ran with their instruments. The lady was out crying of unendurable pain. The lady was locomoted in a stretcher to the operation theatre and the lights were switched on. A red light outside the theatre gleamed bright restraining the entry of strangers which panicked people into a frightful state.

Of all people outside, a particular person remained silent and stiff closing his eyes tightly and fingers crossed. He was actually that lady’s hubby. His prayers started to go higher and higher and his heart beat was faster and faster. This went on ascending. His eyes closed even more tightly. Tears broke out from those very tightly closed eyes. When it was about to hit the floor, a very big crying sound was heard. He opened his eyes. The reflex motion of his eyebrows revealed his surprise and he turned to the door, the red lights were stopped gleaming. He relocated slowly towards the door and saw his wife twinkling her eyes slowly and the nurse laved the blood painted baby. He just leaned on the door and cried with a romance and joy. He made an entrance into the room very slowly like a tortoise and breezed her name near her ear. Her pupil started to hasten in a hit and miss manner and concluded its motion by finding her hubby who knelt near her bed with tears. She lifted her hand by degrees to touch him but when she cognized that it was already inside her hubby’s hand she cried. In spite of her distress she made to bloom over the smile on his face by giving his cheek a playful squeeze.  They saw their baby which has stepped into this world. They loved it; they kissed it, they brought it up by teaching graciousness, kindness, etc.

The lady still was gawking about her gravidity and of how she gave a birth to child, how she bore the pain, how she brought her child up! Ideate a teen agers hand till elbow from the tip of the middle finger; it is nothing but a new born baby’s length. It is a thing to be gawked, isn’t it? Wouldn’t the skin tear as it booms? Wouldn’t the blood flow out as it augments? It is exactly a thing to be awed, isn’t it? The lady’s love pitched bit by bit in every stage of her child.

And now it has reached its teen age and so it develops virtuousness by itself. To be clear it’s just a false virtuousness! Teen-age follows marry-age and so the love steps in! But there are some people who made their way in a profitable manner which seemed to be very rare. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop!’ the most satisfactory proverb for todays teen agers. They sit tight without any useful work to be done and so mind wavers everywhere, fly’s and gets seated in some unwanted areas. So the problem sets in! It is endorsed for every teen ager to inculcate the habit of indulging in bringing about innovative ideas so that they could evade some danger addictions like smoking, drinking, xxx, yyy which is of no need in one’s life. Teen agers always love to marry as soon as they step in 18 without thinking about the duties that they have to do. Marriage, love, girls, boys, outing, dating, chatting, meeting, quitting, beating, fighting, rating etc. Surprised? These words regulates teen agers formally by travelling into them with their permission. And it whacks out the thought of lending ears to parents words, bending accordingly to their words, spending time with them. How many of the adolescents do it! 

“Parents”…. Sounds very light! For teens…

“Father”…. Sounds better than before! For teens…

“Mother”… Sounds even better than before! For teens…

Have you ever moved your thoughts to some other’s point of view? “Yes”, a juvenile person answered “to my girl’s point of view or to my boys”. Have anyone said to my mom’s point of view or to my dad’s. May be it’d have occurred but very rare.  For instance if a stripling chats online with his/her closed one and if he/she is deputed by a work, the very first reaction is that their face turns red ending up in out crying and disputes. It’d have been a better scene if they had taken up the jobs deputed to them. Even the job delegated is small it would boom in appearance to adolescents. So for each and every work if they show their faces what the mom who had brought her baby out with hell a lot of pain would opine?

Just ideate! You are a baby shaking your hands and legs crying as if you made an entrance into hell and your parents see you crying and they make you halt crying. You are now 6 year old baby and cry for toy hanging outside a fancy shop and your parents see you crying and they halt it by buying that toy for you. You are now 10 year old boy. You shout at your mom for not giving money you demanded for. Your mom would think ‘OMG! Why is he/she talks like this? I didn’t go wrong anywhere in bringing up this child I guess! I saw his/him crying one day and I’m seeing his/him out crying’. You are now 16 year old stripling. You out cry at your mom without any reason and rush out. Your mom would think again the same. Just envisage of a dog towards which you look after with utmost care from the day one of its birth. And if it bites you one day what would you think? You would either whack it out or you would scathe it in some other ways. Now ideate as you the dog and your mother the person who upkeeps you. If u bite her what would be her state? Would it be fine? But the most lovable part of life is that a mom wouldn’t even think of whacking her child out!

It would take just few minutes to call on the carpet or conceive. If a very great dazzling inventions if harms the inventor it’d be cruel part in one’s life. One day you going to be one’s wife or husband and that day you’ll cognize the pain, the power, the love, the grace that a mom had for you. You would also cognize as if you had missed those days of happiness and joy. Mom scolded and so upset! Dad scolded and so upset! Have you ever spent an instant to think the reason for those scolding’s? Have you ever hunted for the hidden mistakes inside you? If this becomes possible, adolescent period would be comfortable enough and happy forever.  SO JUST CONCEIVE BEFORE YOU DEED! She is not just mom! He is not just dad! THEY ARE M-O-O-O-O-O-O-M AND D-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-D!

The distress she had! The distress he had!

The distress she has! The distress he has!

The distress she would have! The distress he would have!

It must be sensed by us! It would reappear to us one day!

If you cognize your mistakes in stripling age, you would find yourself more satisfied at your higher ages.