Getting committed whole heartedly, I moved forward and drove my life happily. It’s time for the semester. And we students need to prepare, by being away from these lovely feelings. Is it possible…??? Yep!! Possible... but for girls rather than boys. I always dreamt of my hugs and kisses even at the time of preparation. It’s a total shit!!! Will let you know as I proceed.
I and my friends planned for group study. In general I’m a nocturnal boy. But it’s of no use. I am active at night, but thinking about her mostly. When my eye contacts with my book, it becomes of less use. It's just because of love. I studied, but not so much. Just a little which is more than enough to pass through examination. No group study! No night study! But high GPA! This is her policy. So she won the battle often. Semesters ended!
We had a week to elate our self. I tried to flit out with her. Though she liked it, she refused. So our only entertainment is face book. Just because I see others, especially my friends with their girls, the idea of flitting out bored and settled in my mind. But I compensated this by making calls, by messaging and chatting with her. I said thousand times “I love u” per day. But she replied me once and asked me “Why you repeat for a number of times?”Though it made me to feel bad it’s obviously correct. Then I realized its nonsense to expect her reply for every single time.
When the holidays were on its end of the road I planned to go to her house and, I went. I was happy as sand boy there in her house, as it was my happy hunting ground. Of course I chatted up. Whenever I rose up from the chair and exchanged my plan about going back home, she hugged me around my neck which gratified me and obstructed me moving even an inch. She was holding me in her arms till the last minute of my dispersal to home. But a call from my dad made me off from the ground. She was to the joyous and she sent off me from her house. When I was riding my bike back home I rode high as if I had seen the god on the roadside. Darkness surrounded! I went off to sleep that night happily.
Clocks were running out. It was 10 to 12. As the clock struck 12, I felt wind fanning my face. And I stood with my bike at the edge of a mountain which resembled the same with the one near my house. I, being on edge, had no knowledge about how I reached that place. But I was sure about my suicide. When I was about to leap, my nerves started to shiver and so my body, and I slightly got slipped and a stone of my eye size showed a rehearsal of how it would be when a person jumps from such a high altitude. I saw my girl at my back holding my collar. To my perspective, she was in a half intension to prevent me from leap and in another half of pushing me to leap. And still I was on edge.
I heard voices “Can I leave… Can I leave…? Can I leave… your collar…?” From the word “collar” I confirmed that it’s the voice of my girl. My lip went immovable and so my words. Because it wasn’t a voice of ghost or any vampire. It was my girl’s voice. I went mad; meanwhile she started to remove her finger one by one. When the last finger left my collar, with my death known in front of my apple of my eye, I fell with a hell a lot of yells. That activated my nerves and I woke up suddenly!!!!!!! Saw the clock striking 6. And then I cognized it was just a dream and it started since my nerves got deactivated at 12 of last night.
I got up and I wished my girl through message with an “I love you” as I always do. I got a reply “Gd mng” which seemed unusual, as her style of texting differed that morning. I made up my mind and I went for my college. And that evening I felt a slight change in her. When I said “I love you” “I’ve wrks. K..?” was the one I received. Of course it was the last text from her that day…
Days ran unenthusiastically! One fine day, I started to feel that she is ignoring me. On that day onwards I visited places with a frowning face. Exactly with a face which is looking out for a solution. I started to yell everyone whom I see. She called me, talked with me, but not in love. My love for her made me to find the solution. I asked her once, about her love over me. She remained silent for a period of ten seconds and diverted the topic by asking some silly questions which seemed lovely at the time she loved me. If I fail to answer she unlocks my mouth by saying some extremely lovely words which a boy expects from his girl at the time of his lovesome chats. And I mingled with her talks made me to forget about my problems which I actually thought to ask.
Getting tensed and showing my angry face to her paid me nothing in the case of finding my solution. I started to handle many way, inclusive of all genres. But the word “stubborn” ruined my life. Yep! She was so stubborn in her decision about not to love me. But why…? God knows! I tried… I tried… And I tried… Just to know the reason of why she stopped loving me, but the answer is “No… You can’t able to find…!” Of course, she is a perfect girl. Nothing could be done over here. I was pained.
I started to divert my mind. Sharing my feelings to others made me to feel better than the past. But I wasn’t on the state of sharing it in my home which is usual for all teenagers. So I shared it with my friends who lent their ears eagerly. I felt like these friends going to solve my problems. But not all were there, only few. This made me to pal up with some of them. But as days ran I filtered further my very close pals. Because some disliked me as I always talk about my girl and her story. I was getting out of her thoughts gradually. I got three to four girls as my friend because of this issue. After some days I felt as if I was relieved completely from my emotional strains though my dream came true .I started to pull down her thoughts from my mind.
Though I pulled me from the strains and though I prevented myself from texting her to control my mind, I’m a boy. The word “stubborn” likes more girls than boys. My way of contact with her is only through my friend who is very close to her as she is also a girl. I started to imagine myself ugly and as unfit and many shit. Every boy does this when a girl leaves him. My very close pals advised me as to forget her, but I smiled every single time as they said. They encouraged me by talking about my appearance and said that I’ll get another girl more lovesome than her. But I nodded my head for name sake and I drove my days.
One fine day, when I was on my college bus with music surrounding me through my headset and texting to my girl’s friend I just asked casually about her and how was she, after a long time. I got the reply as “Even yesterday I talked with her. She is asking you to forget her…” The next moment, I closed my inbox… Switched- off my mobile… Remove my headset… Meditated… I closed my eyes with full of strains. I thought to play a love match, but I wasn’t able to. I thought about out love nest, our love seat, about my dream of lovey-dovey couples and also about my lovesick… Everything swirled in my mind with a black background. Getting relaxed, I opened my pressure freed eyes.
I don’t bother about her love for me, but I loved the way she lied to me. Love is just a happenstance!!! But love is lovesome!!! Love is inextirpable!!!
